I made my decision over the past week and it was inevitable I suppose that this was that I didn't want to be with the Boyfriend anymore. So last night I told him how I felt. I knew it would be hard but it was so terrible I just couldn't go through with it. It was horrible how much i upset him, he is usually so strong. But when he begged me to try for longer saying nobody would ever love me like he does I just couldn't leave. I stayed the night with him and even though it was nice I still think I was right in the first place.
I promised him a few more weeks so I will try and have an open mind and see what happens over these few weeks, but he knows now that he doesn't make me happy anymore and I think this is the beginning of the end.
This whole thing makes me really sad but also kind of excited about the life i can have afterwards. I had another taster of this life on Friday night and it made me so eager for more. It was a big night that started with watching 'Comic Relief' but ended with the best party I have ever been to, it was like an episode of 'Skins', a house full to bursting, with a DJ in every room, a 'chill out room' for people smoking spliffs. It was a brilliant party. What made it even better was the appearance of The footballer who showed up because I told him I was there and an enormous amount of attention was lavished upon me by the friend of one of my Uni mates who had come up for the night. It made me feel so confident and brilliant.
I will keep you updated on what happens with the Boyfriend and there may be more to tell after tonight which is a big night out for my friends birthday.
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