Staff party's are always tricky events in my opinion. Too much free alcohol, nothing to do but drink it in a room full of people you would never spend time with if you didn't have to work with them. The last staff party we had ended with me kissing a lesbian and telling my managers wife lots of my sordid little secrets. Although this one was slightly more restrained I still managed to wake up the next day next to the Boss. Although I can't remember the exact details he assures me that nothing much happened, probably because I spent most of my night throwing up...
I turned 20 this week, i think thats supposed to make me a woman but that just doesn't seem right, im definatly not ready to grow up yet. If i stay young i can blame my lose morals on my age, being 20 makes me feel like i should be a little more, well, faithful i suppose.
So, to go completely against this i spent my birthday night out as a 'single girl', I had an argument with the boyfriend in the day and instead of trying to make things up with him I thought fuck him, i'm going to use this as an excuse to do whatever the fuck I want. So I did. It was a brilliant night.
If I can keep it up without the boyfriend finding out then I don't see what the harm really is. This way I get a gorgeous man waiting for me at home and the single life when im out with my friends, what more could I ask for? But then I think, if i really loved and cared for the boyfriend I wouldn't want to do this to him. And now im confused all over again.
Friday, 27 February 2009
Friday, 20 February 2009
Partying
He comes and stands behind me at a crowded bar pushing against me as a que gathers behind us, "You really shouldn't do that." I whisper into his ear, my lips dangerously close to his neck
"What?" he asks, confused.
"Stand so close that i can feel the hardness of your cock pressing against my bottom." is my reply "I am so turned on".
With that I give him a smile and walk away with my drink, feeling his eyes on me the whole way to the dance floor. He appears next to me moments later, minus the drink he was queuing for. Neither of us look at each other or say anything, we dance within our group of friends, all of whom are oblivious to the sexual tension buzzing around us. He stays close by my side until i wander off the dance floor. Quickly he pulls me into a secluded spot and moves in for a kiss, but i pull away and turn my back to him, diverting my attention to my mobile. Not put out he runs his hand up my bare leg, slowly teasing his way up the inside of my thigh until he is stroking the front of my silky knickers. I press my ass against his cock, wriggling slightly as i feel him respond. I turn to face him and kiss him once, softly on the lips nibbling slightly before i pull away regretfully noticing a friend looking for us.
"Later" I promise him, before returning to the group with a smile on my face.
"What?" he asks, confused.
"Stand so close that i can feel the hardness of your cock pressing against my bottom." is my reply "I am so turned on".
With that I give him a smile and walk away with my drink, feeling his eyes on me the whole way to the dance floor. He appears next to me moments later, minus the drink he was queuing for. Neither of us look at each other or say anything, we dance within our group of friends, all of whom are oblivious to the sexual tension buzzing around us. He stays close by my side until i wander off the dance floor. Quickly he pulls me into a secluded spot and moves in for a kiss, but i pull away and turn my back to him, diverting my attention to my mobile. Not put out he runs his hand up my bare leg, slowly teasing his way up the inside of my thigh until he is stroking the front of my silky knickers. I press my ass against his cock, wriggling slightly as i feel him respond. I turn to face him and kiss him once, softly on the lips nibbling slightly before i pull away regretfully noticing a friend looking for us.
"Later" I promise him, before returning to the group with a smile on my face.
Wednesday, 18 February 2009
I have been having a lot of fantasies lately. I have always had a very active fantasy sex life but for whatever reason (possibly recent events with the Boss or my disinterest in sex with the Boyfriend) i am having erotic fantasies almost constantly at the moment. My favorites are with the Boss at work, him bending me over and taking me over one of the restaurant tables, sucking his cock on the office chair, riding him in the children's play area. These are all regular ones. Then there are the ones with men that i have never even seen or don't even exist.
You see, i have never had that heady year or two of sleeping with anyone who takes my fancy. So far the student life i would love has eluded me. At school i certainly got around, at a time when as long as you didn't have penetrative sex you weren't a slag i went as far as i could and would find it hard to name many of my male friends from this time that i didn't get with at one time or an other. But they were more often than not drunken, inexperienced and self conscious. What i need now is a stream of guys who know how to please a girl.
New guys who know how to please a girl.
You see, i have never had that heady year or two of sleeping with anyone who takes my fancy. So far the student life i would love has eluded me. At school i certainly got around, at a time when as long as you didn't have penetrative sex you weren't a slag i went as far as i could and would find it hard to name many of my male friends from this time that i didn't get with at one time or an other. But they were more often than not drunken, inexperienced and self conscious. What i need now is a stream of guys who know how to please a girl.
New guys who know how to please a girl.
Sunday, 15 February 2009
Trouble
What a weekend. Had to spend the entirety of Saturday and today working with the Boss. It was fine, we never really get uncomfortable with each other, but Thursday and Friday had been eventful for us both.
His girlfriend found out that he had been secretly seeing another friend of ours, L, (yes, i knew about this and yes i know that makes me even more of a fool than i already seemed to be) and the first person she turned to for help was me. I felt so guilty trying to give her advice without teling her i already knew and knowing that i had been sleeping with him and just that morning had been fantasising about what fun we could have in the childrens play area at work, wondering how i could make it happen. Anyway, she has forgiven him and her, unbelievably fast. No woner he cheats so often when he knows he won't even loose her!
Then today his girlfriend told me that he had sworn on the life of his two year old son that he hadn't been with any other girl apart from L. I should only been feeling relief that he didn't tell her the truth, which would have ruined everything, but instead i was strangely hurt.
This is getting completely ridiculous. Thursday night is one of the biggest nights out of the year around here and almost everyone i know will be there, incluing the boss and his girlfriend. I know i will act like a complete idiot, especially if they are close, which almost never happens but is likely too this week. I wish i could just keep myself away, where is my share of willpower?!
His girlfriend found out that he had been secretly seeing another friend of ours, L, (yes, i knew about this and yes i know that makes me even more of a fool than i already seemed to be) and the first person she turned to for help was me. I felt so guilty trying to give her advice without teling her i already knew and knowing that i had been sleeping with him and just that morning had been fantasising about what fun we could have in the childrens play area at work, wondering how i could make it happen. Anyway, she has forgiven him and her, unbelievably fast. No woner he cheats so often when he knows he won't even loose her!
Then today his girlfriend told me that he had sworn on the life of his two year old son that he hadn't been with any other girl apart from L. I should only been feeling relief that he didn't tell her the truth, which would have ruined everything, but instead i was strangely hurt.
This is getting completely ridiculous. Thursday night is one of the biggest nights out of the year around here and almost everyone i know will be there, incluing the boss and his girlfriend. I know i will act like a complete idiot, especially if they are close, which almost never happens but is likely too this week. I wish i could just keep myself away, where is my share of willpower?!
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
Presents
My friend, The Boss' girlfriend, has just told me he is spening £100 on her for valentines day because he "wants to show her how much he loves her". This makes me laugh. Just yesterday morning he had his fingers inside me.
Makes me glad the boyfriend doesn't do these extravagant gestures. I know he loves me because he shows me everyday in how he treats me.
Yet another reason i should forget the Boss and concentrate on the boyfriend. He treats me so much better than the Boss ever would.
So why do i refuse to stop?
Makes me glad the boyfriend doesn't do these extravagant gestures. I know he loves me because he shows me everyday in how he treats me.
Yet another reason i should forget the Boss and concentrate on the boyfriend. He treats me so much better than the Boss ever would.
So why do i refuse to stop?
So, i went out on monday night and got left alone in a club with the Boss. It was going well, overly well i suppose. We were getting on really well, propably a direct result of the copius amounts of alcohol being drunk. But sitting by the bar alone with him that thing that sometimes happens between the two of us took place. We started to talk. Everything came out, all sorts of stuff that i had never told any one before about my feelings for the boyfriend, my feelings for the Boss, basically everything i shouldn't have said. This isn't the first time, sometimes i think he knows more about me better than anyone.
Anyway, the outcome of it all was that we kissed, alot. Then we went back to the house i was staying at and fucked. It wasn't the best, we were both far too drunk for it to be brilliant. The tricky thing happened the next morning. Usually when something happens between us the next day involves a mad rush out the door and a couple of texts that leave me completely confused. But we spent hours cudling and kissing, then when my friend rang to check that i hadn't slept with him (i lied) he tried to distract me in some very interesting ways. This is doubly confusing because we never get together sober. I loved it.
I am so mixed up right now, it doesn't help that the boyfriend is coming home tonight to spend five days with me over valentines day. I am so excited that he is coming home but its too early after the time with the Boss. I usually spend atleast four days after the event remembering it and getting that brilliant feeling that starts in my stomach and continues to move down giving me tingles all over. A feeling the boyfriend hasn't given me for years.
Time to go an see my baby and try and be the perfect girlfriend i am suppose to be. Wish me luck!
Anyway, the outcome of it all was that we kissed, alot. Then we went back to the house i was staying at and fucked. It wasn't the best, we were both far too drunk for it to be brilliant. The tricky thing happened the next morning. Usually when something happens between us the next day involves a mad rush out the door and a couple of texts that leave me completely confused. But we spent hours cudling and kissing, then when my friend rang to check that i hadn't slept with him (i lied) he tried to distract me in some very interesting ways. This is doubly confusing because we never get together sober. I loved it.
I am so mixed up right now, it doesn't help that the boyfriend is coming home tonight to spend five days with me over valentines day. I am so excited that he is coming home but its too early after the time with the Boss. I usually spend atleast four days after the event remembering it and getting that brilliant feeling that starts in my stomach and continues to move down giving me tingles all over. A feeling the boyfriend hasn't given me for years.
Time to go an see my baby and try and be the perfect girlfriend i am suppose to be. Wish me luck!
Saturday, 7 February 2009
Me
So I suppose that for my first blog i should explain a bit about myself: I am studying English and History at university, a subject that requires little time in lectures but a huge amount of time reading. Which i love because it means i can spend the majority of my working time in bed. I am not single, i have been with my boyfriend for three years but last September he went away to Uni, completely changing the whole relationship. I am still undecided if it's for better or for worse. Unlike most people i love my job, although if a few key people no longer worked there i don't think i would either. I try and go out atleast three times a week, if my bank balance allows it and love to dance.
Now the boring introductions are over with i will get to the nitty gritty. Basically, i am a selfish bitch. I know this. and although nobody else will tell me so they know it too. I have been sleeping with one of my best friends boyfriends.
The man in question is also my boss and he is everything the boyfriend isn't. He isn't very attractive, he is arrogant, vain, cocky and a womanizer. He often makes me so mad i could scream and i believe he is one of the most hypocrytical people i have ever met. The problem is that he is a major flirt, in the most obvious way. Everyone has met the type, its typical schoolyard stuff. He punches me as he walks past, winks at me, and texts me cheeky messages. The problem is, he is this way with all the girls. I know this, im not an idiot. I am in no way special but, then again, neither is he. I just like the way he makes me feels wanted, even while he is making me feel totally unwanted. When he walks past me and pinches my ass i secretly feel really turned on. When he texts me, even just to say hi, i find it impossible not to reply.
When i say im sleeping with him, i actually mean have slept with him four times, in about two years. My friend, his girlfriend, knows about two of these times. One was before they were together. One was whilst they were together. I have been forgivven. And still i continue. The Boyfriend is perfect and loves me, whenever i am with him or think about him i vow to stop flirting with the Boss, but once i am out with him, particularly if i'm drinking i become uncontrollable and send those ridiculous drunkern messages that i regret the second my hangover kicks in.
Is it just me who is attracted to men like this? Who are totally wrong, who you know you will never want to be with and could possibly ruin everything for you?
I need to change...it's time to sort this mess of a life out.
Now the boring introductions are over with i will get to the nitty gritty. Basically, i am a selfish bitch. I know this. and although nobody else will tell me so they know it too. I have been sleeping with one of my best friends boyfriends.
The man in question is also my boss and he is everything the boyfriend isn't. He isn't very attractive, he is arrogant, vain, cocky and a womanizer. He often makes me so mad i could scream and i believe he is one of the most hypocrytical people i have ever met. The problem is that he is a major flirt, in the most obvious way. Everyone has met the type, its typical schoolyard stuff. He punches me as he walks past, winks at me, and texts me cheeky messages. The problem is, he is this way with all the girls. I know this, im not an idiot. I am in no way special but, then again, neither is he. I just like the way he makes me feels wanted, even while he is making me feel totally unwanted. When he walks past me and pinches my ass i secretly feel really turned on. When he texts me, even just to say hi, i find it impossible not to reply.
When i say im sleeping with him, i actually mean have slept with him four times, in about two years. My friend, his girlfriend, knows about two of these times. One was before they were together. One was whilst they were together. I have been forgivven. And still i continue. The Boyfriend is perfect and loves me, whenever i am with him or think about him i vow to stop flirting with the Boss, but once i am out with him, particularly if i'm drinking i become uncontrollable and send those ridiculous drunkern messages that i regret the second my hangover kicks in.
Is it just me who is attracted to men like this? Who are totally wrong, who you know you will never want to be with and could possibly ruin everything for you?
I need to change...it's time to sort this mess of a life out.
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