but the conversation is stilted, he doesn't touch me at all and we haven't kissed in a week. He told me he still loves me and I have realised exactly how much he means to me. I will do anything to sort things out. Already I have cut myself off completely from the Boss, deleted his number, told him never to text me again and deleted him as a friend on Facebook (he is in the process of being fired too so I won't even have to see him in work). I am trying to fin a new job anyway, I have stopped going out and I am doing everything the Boyfriend asks.
The problem is he says although I keep telling him that I love him that I don't act that way. I go to his house, get in bed and hardly talk. I didn't know what he wanted from me but it turns out he does want affection. I just don't know how to give it without looking like it is forced or seeming to act normal an as if everything is all behind us when it so clearly isn't.
How do I show him how serious I am about this? Please help me!
Try writing him a letter explaining how much he really means to you and how much you would do to make things right. Just be honest. Say what's in your heart. Affection will feel awkward but if that's what he wants from you, then you need to find a way to give it. If you truly love him, then it's not forcing it- your affection is you showing him how sorry you are and how much you love him. Kiss him as if he just found out and he's about to walk out on you forever. Kiss him as if you are trying to tell him not to leave you and to stay. It sounds like he wants to know how serious you through the way you act. If you are serious about keeping him in your life, then wouldn't you kiss him that way?
ReplyDeleteThank you, I wrote him a long letter last night telling him everything that I can't say face to face. Now I just need to give it to him.
ReplyDeleteYou are right about the kiss, i will just try and be natural but show him in everything I do how muhc he means to me. Thanks so much for your help!
It's going to be stilted and uncomfortable and forced for a while, until he gets past the problems in his own heart. He needs to see you sincerely being there for him, just being there, being nice, showing affection, not holding back. If you want to hold his hand, take it. If you want to snuggle, offer it. Just be nice and open.
ReplyDeletedid you kiis your Boss? hm... a strange situation for me. if i was the Boyfriend it would be rather difficult for me to understand such a situation. anyway, I hope everything will be ok with you and you will not do bad things in future.
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I think that given he and you have both been un faithful a number of times any trust you had in your relationship has essentially gone, so anything you say at this point might simply be falling on deaf ears. I know that's what the situation would be if it was me. I think if you two BOTH decide you do still want to be together, and that's a big if, then it would be better to draw a line under things and start from scratch. Trust needs rebuilding, slowly, because without it you have nothing worth keeping.
ReplyDeleteThe alternative is walking away, learning from the experience and moving on.
It sounds like your blog has helped you a lot during the situation even if it's spelled out stuff you didn't like.
Good luck, I hope you figure out what you really want, and I hope you get it.
We are dying for an update!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhere are you honey? I hope you are okay xxxxx
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