I need to stop texting Stigg. Not only is my bill going to be huge but it is still a form of cheating. I am deleting all my texts before I go to the Boyfriends which defintley means I'm not comfortable with what is being said.
But it is still exciting and he is very sweet which makes me feel good. Its always nice to have people wanting you. Plus, I found out he is being a bit of a player and 'texting' a few girls, which makes me feel better about it. I'm cool with that, I have a boyf and I simply just don't care. Although I do get the feeling that he is expecting a little more. Last week he kept putting his hand down my top as i stood at the bar and last night he told me that he couldn't wait for this weeks night out because it is going to be a "brilliant night and hopefully a brilliant end to the night too" when I asked him why he just said because I will be there... Hopefully it is just what he says to all the girls though, he knows I have a boyfriend so he shouldn't expect anything much.
Work with the Boss on wednesday after tuesday nights texts was actually fun. The great thing about him is that I can talk to him so freely about stuff, so when he started bringing it up I didn't have to run away embarrassed but could have a joke with him about it. Which made me feel much more comfortable about the whole situation. And also made me like him more, damn it.
Friday, 31 July 2009
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
The reason drunk people should not have phones.. part2
The Boss text me today for no reason other than to chat. He hasn't done that in ages, we only usually text if we have something particular to say. I can't help but wonder if he is just texting me cos he likes knowing I like him.
The reason drunk people should not have phones..
I told the Boss I like him last night, something I am very embarrassed about today!
He knows I used to like him, I used to get drunk and tell him all the time but I haven't said anything for ages. And what with me turning him down three times (!) he really thought I was over it.
The worst part is that I had a great night out with his girlfriend & when I hadn't got my key to go home they said I could stay on the sofa. I didn't want to, its a bit weird knowing that she knows I have slept with him and just being with the two of them, but I had no other choice! Anyway in the end they had a massive row (nothing new there, it happens every time they go out together) and I ended up sleeping with his girlfriend (who I am as of now going to call Claire because she is popping up more and I think she need a name) in their bed while he slept on the sofa. I was wasted and couldn't help but text him to tell him that I hate liking him so much and that I have done for too long now. Could it have been any worse?! I basically told him that I have liked him since I first started liking him well over a year ago.
When I woke up this morning with a massive hangover he had already gone to work so I didn't have to see him straight away. I text him apologising but instead of doing the decent thing and saying something along the lines of 'It's OK I know you were really drunk and didn't mean it' he said he hadn't realised I still felt like that. Damn. So I had to be the one to say I was really drunk and didn't mean it... and it doesn't sound as good coming from me!
In other news it turns out Stigg has got quite a big crush on me which makes me feel very bad about getting with him. He is texting me all the time and even thought he knows I have a boyfriend he is getting quite full on. Luckily having a boyfriend makes it easier to escape from the situation without hurting him.
He knows I used to like him, I used to get drunk and tell him all the time but I haven't said anything for ages. And what with me turning him down three times (!) he really thought I was over it.
The worst part is that I had a great night out with his girlfriend & when I hadn't got my key to go home they said I could stay on the sofa. I didn't want to, its a bit weird knowing that she knows I have slept with him and just being with the two of them, but I had no other choice! Anyway in the end they had a massive row (nothing new there, it happens every time they go out together) and I ended up sleeping with his girlfriend (who I am as of now going to call Claire because she is popping up more and I think she need a name) in their bed while he slept on the sofa. I was wasted and couldn't help but text him to tell him that I hate liking him so much and that I have done for too long now. Could it have been any worse?! I basically told him that I have liked him since I first started liking him well over a year ago.
When I woke up this morning with a massive hangover he had already gone to work so I didn't have to see him straight away. I text him apologising but instead of doing the decent thing and saying something along the lines of 'It's OK I know you were really drunk and didn't mean it' he said he hadn't realised I still felt like that. Damn. So I had to be the one to say I was really drunk and didn't mean it... and it doesn't sound as good coming from me!
In other news it turns out Stigg has got quite a big crush on me which makes me feel very bad about getting with him. He is texting me all the time and even thought he knows I have a boyfriend he is getting quite full on. Luckily having a boyfriend makes it easier to escape from the situation without hurting him.
Friday, 24 July 2009
Travelling
I'm getting a bit restless now with this rainy summer we are having. It seems like I do nothing but work, see the Boyfriend and have the occasional night out which is fun but always the same. I need some more excitement before I go back to Uni because otherwise these next two months until I get to move back in with my friends are really gonna drag!
What I want more than anything is to get away for a while, ideally to go travelling for a month and just really enjoy myself. Some of my friends went to Italy for two weeks with just a backpack and a guide to travel the country. Only one of them came back, the other two have managed to find bar work and are staying for the rest of the summer. I'm green with envy and would love to be able to do something like that. Unfortunately it would be impossible what with my job and the Boyfriend to be able to actually do it. However, I have decided that as soon as I have finished my degree next May I am definitely going to travel somewhere. I hope I will be able to get someone to come with me, but if I can't I promise myself I will go by myself. It will be the perfect way to spend a couple of months before I start my Masters degree. Just the thought of it cheers me up, I know if I start to plan it I will work much harder in my final year and hopefully have some good grades to celebrate.
What I want more than anything is to get away for a while, ideally to go travelling for a month and just really enjoy myself. Some of my friends went to Italy for two weeks with just a backpack and a guide to travel the country. Only one of them came back, the other two have managed to find bar work and are staying for the rest of the summer. I'm green with envy and would love to be able to do something like that. Unfortunately it would be impossible what with my job and the Boyfriend to be able to actually do it. However, I have decided that as soon as I have finished my degree next May I am definitely going to travel somewhere. I hope I will be able to get someone to come with me, but if I can't I promise myself I will go by myself. It will be the perfect way to spend a couple of months before I start my Masters degree. Just the thought of it cheers me up, I know if I start to plan it I will work much harder in my final year and hopefully have some good grades to celebrate.
Friday, 17 July 2009
What I did with Stigg
I did something a bit stupid last night. I had a small gathering of people at mine because my parents are away and nobody can afford to go out right now. We got lots of Southern Comfort and Vodka and played ring of fire and the Family Guy drinking game (check it out on Facebook, its very funny but makes it impossible to stay sober) and I ended up very drunk. It was just me and the guys cos the girly friends have either gone home for summer or away. Anyway, after a long long night I ended up in bed with Stigg.
I didn't sleep with him, I'm not sure if there was a possibility I would have but once the got his hands down my pants I knew I had to get rid of him. He is a little younger than me but I had no idea that would mean he would be so terrible! I tried so hard to guide him and show him what I wanted but he was intent on pumping his fingers inside me as hard and fast as he could for as long as possible. I didn't want to just tell him to get lost so I gave him head for a while then told him he had to go down stairs. I do have to admit that I really put a lot of effort into sucking his cock, it's something I know I am good at and I really went to town hoping to do some things to him that he had never had done to him before.
Afterwards I felt so guilty I cried myself to sleep but speaking to a friend at work who is in his thirties and good friends with my boyfriend he said something that made me feel a little better. He said he could tell how much I loved the Boyfriend but when you are in a long term relationship while you are young and at uni there will always be temptation and that you would have to be a saint to resist every time. I know for a fact that the Boyfriend has cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship a fair bit and I figure that as long as we are both happy and secure together I shouldn't stress too much. I don't want to cheat (except maybe with The Boss) but at the end of the day my relationship is one of the best I know of, we are so happy together and have such a great life that stressing about a drunken mistake is slightly ridiculous. I don't want to do it again, that's for sure, but I am not going to worry about my past anymore. I'm just going to enjoy the now.
I didn't sleep with him, I'm not sure if there was a possibility I would have but once the got his hands down my pants I knew I had to get rid of him. He is a little younger than me but I had no idea that would mean he would be so terrible! I tried so hard to guide him and show him what I wanted but he was intent on pumping his fingers inside me as hard and fast as he could for as long as possible. I didn't want to just tell him to get lost so I gave him head for a while then told him he had to go down stairs. I do have to admit that I really put a lot of effort into sucking his cock, it's something I know I am good at and I really went to town hoping to do some things to him that he had never had done to him before.
Afterwards I felt so guilty I cried myself to sleep but speaking to a friend at work who is in his thirties and good friends with my boyfriend he said something that made me feel a little better. He said he could tell how much I loved the Boyfriend but when you are in a long term relationship while you are young and at uni there will always be temptation and that you would have to be a saint to resist every time. I know for a fact that the Boyfriend has cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship a fair bit and I figure that as long as we are both happy and secure together I shouldn't stress too much. I don't want to cheat (except maybe with The Boss) but at the end of the day my relationship is one of the best I know of, we are so happy together and have such a great life that stressing about a drunken mistake is slightly ridiculous. I don't want to do it again, that's for sure, but I am not going to worry about my past anymore. I'm just going to enjoy the now.
Sunday, 12 July 2009
The Third No
The Boss tried it on again last night.
I'm starting to see a pattern, nowadays he only ever tries something if he thinks I might be getting with someone else.
I said no. Third time.
I feel good but also a little scared he might stop trying. Then what would I do?
I'm starting to see a pattern, nowadays he only ever tries something if he thinks I might be getting with someone else.
I said no. Third time.
I feel good but also a little scared he might stop trying. Then what would I do?
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